That we hate parasites but love pregnancy?

Undeniably.

I recently viewed a show called Monster Inside Me. The show, documenting the journey and existence of parasites within the human body. Now let me tell you, I’ve seen some gross and disturbing things in my life. But I can tell you that Monsters Inside Me would rank very, very highly on this list.

“Mike Hale of The New York Times said that ‘there’s science amid the frightening stories and said that the series really grossed him out.’ Anne Louise Bannon of Common Sense Media said that ‘parents need to know that there is a lot of gross stuff in the series and the show has good educational content except for the tips on how to protect yourself from parasites because the information is vague.’” *

So I’m not alone in this. Most of us aren’t extraordinarily comfortable knowing that at the drop of a hat, our body may be taken prisoner by some sort of hungry parasite.

On a seemingly unrelated note, America loves pregnancy. A lot. Maybe as much as baseball. Or bald eagles.

But really, what is pregnancy? Would I be lying if I were to define pregnancy as, “[when] an organism that lives on or in an organism…known as the host, from the body of which it obtains nutriment.” **

Hmm. Also the definition of parasite.

If someone were to develop a tumor that continually grew in size for 9 months, a tumor that fed off of what you ate, people would probably be slightly concerned, to say the least. But strangely enough, once that tumor is alive (and a fetus), we LOVE it.

While I’m on the subject, can I address the fact that sonogram pictures of fetus’ are about one of the creepiest things I’ve ever seen? A four-fingered see-through half-man half-alien doesn’t exactly induce feelings of irrepressible adoration for me. And yet. Some people look at sonogram pictures as if they just saw the Mona Lisa.

Just some food for thought. Next time you see an abnormally large-stomached woman, a pregnant woman, your intuition may tell you say “awww” and touch her. But just remember, a tiny person is floating around in there, sucking all of the nutrients from its host.

You wouldn’t say “awww” if you saw a tick would you?

* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monsters_Inside_Me

** http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/parasite

That dolphins sleep with one eye open?

Mos def!

When we think of those who sleep with one eye open, a couple of characteristics come to mind:
• Suspicious
• Insane
• Panicked
• Sleep-deprived
• Medically sick – “This symptom [eye-open sleeping]…should prompt a search for an underlying neurological problem, namely bilateral facial weakness. One of the more common causes of such a problem, particularly if it has gone unnoticed by the individual, is a form of muscular dystrophy called facioscapulohumeral muscular dystrophy.”*

Well, to my knowledge, dolphins don’t generally posses any of the preceding characters. In fact, if I were to characterize dolphins, I might call them:
• Cute
• Nice
• Adorable
• Friendly
• Nice
• Cute
• Uber Friendly
• Super Adorable

I would never even consider characterizing them in any similarly to the open-eye sleepers (aside from being suspiciously awesome, insanely legit, or sick how cool and nice dolphins are).

So when considering the gaping disparity between open eye sleepers and dolphin cuteness, we are presented with a weird divergence. Dolphin’s are crazy delightful while in their waking hours, and oddly neurotic during their sleeping hours.

Edgar Allen Poe had some thoughts about open eye sleepers, most famously occurring in his short story, The Tell Tale Heart. In this story, the narrator finds his roommate sleeping with one eye open. Check it out:

“I moved it slowly, very, very slowly, so that I might not disturb the old man's sleep. It took me an hour to place my whole head within the opening so far that I could see him as he lay upon his bed. Ha! would a madman have been so wise as this? And then when my head was well in the room I undid the lantern cautiously -- oh, so cautiously -- cautiously (for the hinges creaked), I undid it just so much that a single thin ray fell upon the vulture eye.”

After doing this for seven nights, the narrator decides that such open eye sleeping is such a problem so as to merit a murder.

Does this mean, then, that if such a narrator were to see a dolphin sleeping with one eye open, and his lantern were to shed light in the dolphin in just the wrong way, would he murder this dolphin? We'll never know I suppose.

* http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Neurology/Sleeping-with-Eyes-Open/show/897018?forums=forums

Weird Picture Wednesday!!!